Saturday, 10 May 2014

Nick the Flying Brick in the Newark By-election

Nick the Flying Brick’s nomination has been accepted for the Newark By-election which is being held on the 5th of June. He is highly regarded as a single issue politician, with his long-standing campaign for the abolition of gravity. He is keen to put Newark on the political map moving the British Parliament to ‘The Flying Circus‘ pub at 53,  Castlegate.
Other policies include:
  • Make fishing a spectator sport by introducing piranha to the River Trent
  • Newark Castle will be developed into an intergalactic space port.
  • The ‘Chiltern Hundreds’ will be declared a nature reserve and developed into a Mercernary retreat.
  • The ‘Financial Conduct Authority’ to be renamed ‘Financial Complacent Authority’.
  • Environmental policy – All European trains in the future must be fuelled by Gravy.
  • We would return the British currency to pounds, shillings and pence with rural villages such as Southall encouraged to trade in shiny beads.
More to follow soon. . .

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